Funny Quotes Stupid Quotes

 "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answered accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"The only reason we're 7-0 is that we've won all seven of our games."

- David Garcia, baseball team manager

"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison."

- Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."

- Decca Records rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."

- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"We're just physically not physical enough."

- Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon."

- Detroit Daily News

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."

- Dizzy Dean explained how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not

there?"

- Driver school applicant

"The world is more like it is now than it ever has before."

- Dwight Eisenhower

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."

- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

"Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds."

- Frank Bruno, Boxer

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."

- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.